Church of the Redeemer -Selma, CA

Unsettle me.

These words have been reverberating in my head ever since I read them as part of a prayer in my daily devotional. Unsettle me? Why would I pray that prayer?  Isn’t that just the opposite of what I want Him to do? Shouldn’t I be praying for God to settle me down so that I can have peace in my life?  But as I kept reading, the truth leapt off the page. I have areas of my life that I’ve settled in. Areas that, while not exactly “sin”, keep me from being the complete daughter of God that Father has created me to be. 

I’ve struggled with weight issues all my life. I’ve experienced the typical yo-yo cycles: lose weight, gain it back, lose weight again, ad nauseam. And I’ve settled in and made myself quite comfortable.  I tell myself, “I have always had a weight problem, and I might as well face the fact that I always will. It’s just the way I’m made. I can just look at a picture of food and gain weight.”  Yet, being overweight has led to feelings of depression, inferiority, and low self-esteem. Is this the place I really want to settle?

I figured out a long time ago that most of my eating is emotional. If there is an emotion to be experienced, positive or negative, my response is FOOD!  If something makes me angry, then life stinks so what does it matter if I eat this entire FAMILY SIZED bag of potato chips. If something great happens and I’m on cloud nine, let’s eat! All’s right with the world.  What I didn’t recognize until about a year ago was that this is a spiritual issue.  Why? Because God wants me to be skinny? No . . . because –  God.  Wants.  Me.  Period. He wants me to turn to HIM when I’m angry or sad or amazingly happy.  Every time I turn to food instead of Him, I’m believing the lie that says God’s not enough or He doesn’t care. But the truth is, He created me to crave Him and His presence. He cares about everything I’m feeling because He made me. When I turn to anything else I settle into places where I find no answers and am doomed to failure yet again.

In her book “Made to Crave Devotional: 60 Days to Craving God, Not Food”, Lysa TerKeurst prays,

“Unsettle me in the best kind of way.  For when I allow Your touch to reach the deepest parts of me – dark and dingy and hidden away too long – suddenly, a fresh wind of life twists and twirls and dances through my soul.” 

Since discovering “Made to Crave” last year, I’ve been more aware than ever before that my issues are not about the number on a scale or the size of my clothes, but about who my focus is on. God truly doesn’t care whether I wear a size 6, 16, or 26. He just wants me to desire Him above all else.  

The Sidewalk Prophets sing a great song called “Keep Making Me.” The second verse says, 

Make me empty
So I can be filled
‘Cause I’m still holding
Onto my will
And I’m completed
When You are with me
Make me empty

Chorus:
‘Til you are my one desire
‘Til you are my one true love
‘Til you are my breath, my everything
Lord, please keep making me

You may not have an issue with food, but I can guarantee there’s something else that you turn to when life becomes, well . . . life. Where have you settled? If you ask, He’ll show you. Just pray, “Lord, unsettle me in those areas that take my attention away from you.  Keep making me until I desire no one but you.”